July 5th, 2004

Yesterday was a blast, went out to my sister's for the 4th. They had loads of food (free food is always the best!) Brisket, chicken, hot links, salmon all cooked on the grill. :) Then the fireworks began..........they had 2 & 1/2 pickup truck loads!!!!

This is my first blog.....so im not sure what i should be sharing. My marriage sucks, been married 14 years. I'm getting old, I need to be happy for a change, been thinking about divorce (seriously thinking, that is). You know it's a matter of having or have not at this point. I'm not talking about happiness only........I'm talking about love, happiness, belongings, living at the level I've been living. To leave this marriage is a BIG step.....I have not lived alone for 22 years. I was married previously for 8 years of HELL to a spouse abuser, yes i was trapped by the battered wife syndrome. And please don't give me any bullshit about it...........YOU DO FEEL TRAPPED......I was living in a different state, no family...........But there does come a point when that one last beating does the trick.........the light comes on & u think....I AM NOT TAKING THIS ANYMORE!!!!! So here I am in my second marriage of 14 years, miserable again. NO he hasnt beaten me or even hit me....more of mental abuse this time only. Here i am approaching the half way point in my life & im miserable again. Patti!!!!! It's so time to think of yourself!!!! SO gurl get something done!!!!